Tuesday, 26 June 2007 10:45:00 am
Went to visit her yesterday to find out some truth and to see her. I can only visit her 3 times a month for an hour each and yet she don't cherish the meeting. I'm very happy to know that she's doing very well in her studies but relationship with people is bad.
Every time when I visit her, my heart will be very painful and nobody in this world can really understand how I feel. I really feel like crying. It's all my fault and I can only blame myself for it. Since I chose to send her there, I will need to bear the consequences and accept whatever she gave me. She hates me so much that no amounts of word can describe her feeling & hatred towards me.. I wanted so much to say how much I regretted my action but I know that no matter how many times I say "SORRY" also no use. What done cannot be undone
I'll always remember this sms which I don't know how to reply
when it's being sent back to me:
"One of my students.
She said I neglected her becos of Shiyun and Joanne.
I care for her so much, love her so much.
She really make me heartpain.
Question is: So how you gonna explain tis uh?
I know I own you an explanation but give me time. Thanks for understanding me.
My mood was terrible, I was heart pain. But some misunderstanding arise between someone and me. I was being too sarcastic and sensitive. I know it's my fault, I'm sorry. I will learn not to be so sarcastic but as for sensitivity, I can't helped it because I don wan and can't afford to lose someone close to me again. I know I'm being selfish in this way but please forgive me.
Went to visit her again today, her attitude is still the same, no change. She bite me and throw a tool at my leg today and she really lost control.. My heart is even more painful then yesterday. Though it's a small cut but it's painful, very painful. Not my leg that is pain but is my "HEART".
